Never had a Friend like you
by Decepti-Kitty
Summary: Cosmo feels unappreciated back home and decides to visit Jorgen. Instead, he hangs out with Norm. Norm/Cosmo
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1--- In which there is thieving

Cosmo had gotten into yet another stupid argument with his wife. So, he was now in Fairy World, trying to relax. He had considered going to visit his mother, but didn't feel like being turned into a pancake by his mother's hugging.

He floated outside the house of his cousin, Jorgen Von Strangle. Cosmo had recently discovered that he was related to the large fairy when Jorgen came down with a case of Trick-ups.

Cosmo knocked on the door. A moment passed. No answer. Was Jorgen even home? "Jorgen!" Cosmo called, knocking again. "Hello!!" Still no answer. Cosmo tried turning the handle. The door opened. The fairy glanced inside. The lights were off and no one was home. Cosmo carefully stepped inside. "Jorgen!" He tried again. "Hmm… I wonder where he is?"

He saw a light in the bathroom and walked towards it. The light was a faint purple and strangely familiar. He peeked inside the bathroom and saw a lava lamp in the urinal. Cosmo blinked. "Oh, yeah. That must Norm's lamp…" Cosmo approached the urinal and stared at the lamp. "Norm can't be happy in there…" He grabbed the lamp and took it to the sink and began cleaning it.

Cosmo noted that this counted as rubbing the lamp. He shrugged. Oh, well. What most people, including his godchild and wife, didn't know was that Cosmo wasn't as stupid as he seemed. He only acted like a moron in order to get away with doing whatever he wanted.

Teal blue smoke poured out of the lamp and Norm the Genie appeared, rubbing the back of his neck in irritation. He opened his eyes and looked around, expecting to see Jarhead Jorgen looming over him. When he didn't, Norm blinked in confusion. He looked down and saw Cosmo, who was preoccupied with cleaning the lamp.

"Hey. What are you doing?" Norm asked, confused at why Cosmo had freed him.

Cosmo looked up at the genie with shining green eyes. "Hi, Norm. I'm cleaning your lamp."

"And _why_ are you cleaning it?"

The fairy shrugged. "It was dirty."

Norm sighed dramatically. "You are aware that it was my lamp, right?"

Cosmo nodded. "Of course I know that. And I remember what you've done to me and Wanda and Timmy in the past." He smiled at Norm.

The genie shook his head. "If you remembered, why did you do it?"

"Because it doesn't bother me as much as you'd think. So, where's your big introduction?"

Norm raised an eyebrow at Cosmo and snapped, GONGing up a sign with his name. "Intro? Fine. I am Norm! I am a magical genie and for releasing me from my lamp you get three rule-free wishes!"

Cosmo smiled. "Much appreciated."

Cosmo seemed different to Norm. What was going on?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2—Much to Norm's further Confusion

"Hey, Cosmo? What's up with you?" Norm asked sitting on the sink beside the cleaning fairy.

Cosmo grinned at him. "Nothing's up with me. I'm fine."

"You don't seem stupid---- I mean, normal. It's like you're different…"

"Well, I got bit of an intelligence boost after my Anti and I had that gland transplant. We ended up taking on bits of each other's personality. He got a bit of my cheery and pleasant disposition, and I got a bit of his moodiness and smarts. Make sense?" Cosmo explained, much to Norm's surprise. Cosmo had actually _explained_ something so that it made _sense_. That on its own was frightening.

Norm simply nodded. "So, got any wishes?"

"I'm a fairy."

Ah. There's the remaining stupidity. "No, duh, fruit-cup. I know that. But, you have three wishes you can make for _yourself_. So, what's it going to be?"

Cosmo shook his head. He POOFed up a backpack and gently placed the lamp in it.

Norm raised an eyebrow. "You're stealing from Jarhead? Glad to see you're still and idiot."

"No kidding. The brains come and go. I came to visit Jorgen because Wanda and I are fighting. I just wanted someone to talk to. He wasn't home. Door was open and I came in. I found you, so now I have someone to talk to."

The genie stared at Cosmo. "So, we're leaving?"

Cosmo nodded and shouldered the bag. He raised his wand and with a POOF, he and Norm were in Timmy's bedroom. Cosmo looked around and noticed that Wanda wasn't there and Timmy was asleep. "Did Wanda leave Poof?"

"Poof?" Norm asked, looking at Cosmo curiously.

The fairy looked up at Norm. "My son. His name is Poof."

"Not a very creative name."

"Timmy named him."

"Ah. That explains it."

Cosmo smiled. Norm found that he liked Cosmo's smile. It was infectious. And this wasn't the first time Norm noticed the fairy's unintentional charms. He had noticed when Cosmo went out of his way to do anything Norm asked back when they first met. Cosmo was blissfully adorable. And Norm liked it. As quickly as he thought it, the genie denied the notion.

"Dada?" Came a young voice.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 --- Vacation

Cosmo turned to the voice and hugged his son. "Hi, Poof! Where's your mother?"

Norm watched as Cosmo hugged the round child. That was his son?

"Mama," Poof replied, pointing to the fishbowl, indicating that Wanda was doing something in there. The fairy baby stared at Norm and gave his father a quizzical look.

"Oh! Poof, this is Norm." Cosmo grinned.

Poof blinked and floated over to his sleeping god brother. He sat beside Timmy and watched his father and Norm. He remembered Timmy mentioning someone named Norm, and that Norm was a bad guy. Poof didn't understand why his father brought a bad guy home.

A pink POOF announced Wanda's return from whatever it was she was up to. She took one look at Norm and a cloud of annoyance fell across her face. "What are _you_ doing here?" She asked, folding her arms across her chest.

Before Norm could respond, Cosmo spoke. "I brought him here."

Wanda turned on her husband. "You did _WHAT_?! Cosmo, why would you bring _him_ back here? Did you forget everything that's happened?" She paused, dropping her mask of anger for a moment, wondering if she was overreacting, but after everything Norm had pulled on them, she concluded she was not, and the anger returned.

Cosmo shook his head. "No, I didn't forget. But, I don't think Norm's all that bad."

"How did you get him?"

"I took his lamp from Jorgen's house."

Wanda looked at Cosmo as if he belonged in a padded cell next to his Anti self. "You what?! You _stole_ the lamp from _Jorgen_?! What ever possessed you to do something like that?!"

The green-haired fairy tilted his head to the side, looking at his wife. "Nothing possessed me. I went to visit Jorgen, but he wasn't home. Norm's lamp was there, unguarded, so I took it."

"Why would you do something like that?! Do you have any idea what Jorgen will do to you when he finds out?!"

Wanda's yelling had finally woken Timmy. He sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Hey… What's going on, guys?" He asked drowsily. Timmy opened his eyes and saw Norm. So _that's_ why Wanda was yelling. Now, Timmy was fairly concerned. "Norm! What are you doing here?!"

The genie rolled his eyes. Looks like Cosmo had to explain _again_.

Wanda looked at Timmy. "Cosmo brought him," she answered, an annoyed calm in her voice.

Norm shivered. Wanda had a temper he wasn't aware of. Norm had seen Wanda annoyed before, but never angry. And Cosmo was different, too. What did the green-haired fairy mean by 'Anti self'? _Talk about major confusion…_ Norm thought. _Why me?_ He glanced at Cosmo, who seemed like he wanted to disappear. Norm figured the fairy didn't intend to get in trouble by bringing him here. And yet, here the poor guy was; getting yelled at by his wife and godchild. In front of his son. That's a great confidence builder.

_Why do I care? This is his problem, not mine._ So why did Norm feel bad about Cosmo's situation? The genie tried to get rid of Cosmo before. That wasn't sympathy. Why did he feel it now?

Wanda turned on Norm. "Since Cosmo let you out, why don't you leave and never come back?!"

"What, you _want_ me to destroy Canada?" Norm smirked, crossing his arms. "You don't want me free, I can guarantee that much. Sure, I've tried to get rid of you guys once or twice… But, I don't think I like how you're treating him." He motioned to Cosmo. "You're treating this like a murder or something. All he did was bring me here. Have I done anything wrong yet?"

"Key word: _yet_," Timmy scowled. "You are a tricky and untrustworthy genie! How do we know you aren't plotting something as we speak?!" He pointed an accusing finger at Norm.

Norm just shook his head. "Believe what you want, Bucktooth the Wonder Boy. I'm not up to anything. Well, again, that's _yet_. So… I'm in a fair mood since Cosmo let me out, don't push your luck."

Timmy leaned against the headboard and crossed his arms. Why would Cosmo do this? Why did it have to be Norm? That was the question screaming in Timmy's mind: Why?

"Timmy, can I have a vacation?" Cosmo asked suddenly.

His godchild looked up at him. "A vacation? Can you do that?"

Cosmo nodded. "We gave Wanda a day off, remember? Give me a week. Just wish it. I'll take Norm with me, so you guys don't have anything to worry about."

Timmy looked at Wanda, who was still seething. Seeing he wouldn't get a response from her, he sighed and turned back to Cosmo. "Okay. I wish you could have a week-long vacation."

Cosmo and Wanda raised their wands and with a POOF, the wish was granted. Cosmo turned to Norm, smiled and POOFed to a warm beach.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter IV--- The Beach

Cosmo sat on a beach towel he POOFed up, motioning for Norm to join him.

Norm sat beside Cosmo, looking at him curiously. "So… Trouble in 'Happy-Married-Land'?" He asked.

The fairy shrugged. "Something like that. Me and Wanda have been arguing a lot lately. Not like when she calls me a moron, but actual married fighting. And I'm sure it's worrying Timmy and Poof…"

"Any reason why?"

Cosmo shrugged. "I don't really know. We've never had any problems like this…"

Norm sighed. Why did the genie care if Cosmo was having problems with Wanda? He didn't like either one of them and they didn't like him. He shook his head in frustration. "I know it's not your cup of tea, but have you thought about what you want to wish for?"

"I don't know… I didn't let you out because I wanted the wishes… I just wanted someone to talk to…" Cosmo turned to the genie, green eyes shining. "What would you wish for, Norm?"

The genie was startled by this question. "Um… Well… No one ever asked before…" He looked at Cosmo, who was smiling expectantly. Norm sighed. "Aside from the obvious 'free-from-the-lamp-forever' thing, I'm not sure. I just want to be free to do what _I_ want, when I want."

"Well, I'd be happy to help you, but…" Cosmo looked at his feet. "You know I can't… I wanna help, but…"

Norm patted Cosmo on the back. "Hey, no worries. It's fine."

Cosmo looked up at Norm and frowned, suddenly noticing the height difference. He raised his wand and POOFed to a form roughly a foot shorter than the genie. Aside from the height, nothing about his appearance changed.

Norm looked at Cosmo in confusion.

"Being shorter than you was getting on my nerves. So, why not make myself taller?"

The genie stifled a laugh. "I guess."

Cosmo stood. "Well, we have a beach house we can stay in. You coming?"

Norm nodded and followed Cosmo. The beach was glowing. Well, the ocean was, anyway. Oceans had a funny way of doing that at sunset. Norm always found it peaceful to be at the beach when the sun was going down. It was, ironically, magical.

Cosmo walked up to an old beach house. Norm shuddered. It was kind of eerie... He followed Cosmo up the stairs and leaned back against the banister and waited. Cosmo reached out a pale hand (well, pale by Norm's definition, anyway) and opened the door. Cosmo stepped back and let Norm go in first.

It was dark. Duh. No one lives here. Norm GONGed some lights into the dreary place. He crossed his arms and watched Cosmo walk in, closing the door behind him.

"Creepy, huh? I guess it should be; this place is never used. I used to come here all the time." Cosmo grinned.

Norm nodded in agreement. "So, what are the sleeping arrangements?"

Cosmo placed a finger to his lips in thought. "Well, there's one bed and a couch. Since you were in that horrible lamp for so long, you can take the bed. Okay?" Cosmo resumed his sweet smile.

Norm blushed. "Uh... Great... Thanks... But, you're my master, you take the more comfortable sleeping spot."

"No, you take the bed. It's fine."

Norm wasn't used to someone being nice to him. He started suspecting Cosmo of taking pity on him. Norm wasn't having that. "You take the bed."

Cosmo frowned. Then he looked down, a faint blush on his face. "Well... We could share the bed..."

Norm stared blankly at Cosmo for a moment. "Did you seriously just suggest that?"

The fairy nodded. Norm sighed. "Well, I guess that solution would cease this argument, now, wouldn't it?" Cosmo shrugged in response and walked towards the bedroom. Norm followed.

Cosmo sat down on the bed. He grinned. "I forgot that this bed was so comfy!" He fell back onto the pillows. He groaned in comfort.

Norm sat beside him. The bed was pretty comfortable. He watched Cosmo pull the blankets down and crawl under them. The genie couldn't help but smile. Cosmo was just infectious that way. He could make anyone smile. Norm felt comfortable around this fairy. But, only around Cosmo. Norm had to wonder why. It had never been like that before. So, why now? Norm pulled back the blankets on his side and turned his back to the already-sleeping Cosmo. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore a faint pounding in his chest.

-----------------

_"Ahh... Oh, Norm..."_

_What a sweet sound. Such a pure, innocent voice._

_"Yes... There..."_

_It was familiar._

_"Nngh..."_

_Wait. No. It couldn't be._

_"Ah!"_

_Fuck. It was._

_"Norm!"_

-----------------

Norm bolted upright. "What the hell?" He murmured. He was dreaming about shagging Cosmo? What was wrong with him? He ran a hand through his sweaty locks and glanced over at Cosmo, who didn't seem to notice Norm's sudden movement. He sighed. Cosmo was married. And a guy. Why was he having these thoughts? "It's okay, Norm, just calm down. You just haven't gotten laid in a while and sharing a bed isn't helping. That's all it is. Nothing else." Giving himself a nod to show that he had successfully convinced himself that this was the case, Norm decided to go back to sleep. He laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

Something warm pressed against him. Norm looked down at Cosmo, who had rolled over seeking more warmth. Norm groaned. _This_ certainly was helping matters either. With a sigh, Norm gave up. He placed a hand on Cosmo's shoulder and eventually drifted into sleep once more.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5---Morning at the Beach

"Good Morning!"

Norm groaned in annoyance. "Go away…" He growled, pulling the blanket over his head. "Too early…"

Cosmo pouted childishly. "Aw, come on! It's a nice day!"

The genie growled again in response. "Big deal… It's just a day." He rolled over, turning his back to Cosmo.

"Norm."

Ignored…

"Norm!"

Again, the genie didn't move.

Fed up, Cosmo pounced on Norm, who jumped in surprise.

"Hey! What the hell?!" Norm said, glaring at the fairy in his lap. Oh, jeez. Norm blushed, remembering his dream from the previous night. "Umm… Could you get off me?"

Cosmo cocked his head to the side. "Why? I'm waking you up."

"That's not all you're waking up…" Norm muttered under his breath.

Fortunately, Cosmo didn't catch that and smiled. "There's a carnival today. You wanna go?"

"Carnival?"

"Yeah. The Beach Summer Carnival starts today." Cosmo crawled off Norm and stood up beside the bed. "So, do you wanna go or not?" He smiled brightly.

Norm returned the smile and nodded. At least Cosmo was feeling better. Norm sat up and looked around the room. It looked even worse in daylight. He frowned. "When we come back here, I'm redecorating. This place reeks of mold and dust!"

Cosmo blushed in embarrassment. "Well, I'm not one to keep things very clean… Besides, I haven't been back here since maybe two or three years before Poof was born… So, it's been about five years…" Cosmo walked over to the bedroom door. "Coming?"

Norm nodded and stood up. He followed Cosmo through the living room and out the front door. Norm blinked several times to adjust his eyes to the sunlight. "It's bright out here…" Norm's eyes finally got used to the sun and he looked around. Now that he could see it in broad daylight, the beach was very beautiful.

The genie glanced over at the grinning Cosmo, who had abandoned his normal attire for swim shorts and a floral shirt. The fairy had hidden his wings within the clothing and he had turned his wand into a pendant.

"Why don't you change clothes?" Cosmo suggested.

Norm thought for a moment and nodded in agreement. He snapped his fingers and GONGed into a beach outfit; button-up shirt (unbuttoned, of course.), shorts, and, of course, his sexy sunglasses. He glanced at Cosmo, who was pointing at Norm's tail. Norm looked down and guessed that Cosmo was saying 'get rid of the tail, people will stare.' He snapped again and his tail became legs.

Cosmo led the way to a set of tents further down the beach. He was still smiling. Norm had to wonder if Cosmo had forgotten about what happened yesterday or if he was suppressing what happened, which wasn't healthy. Norm figured the fairy was ignoring it or he just forgot. The latter seemed much more likely.

"Aren't you still upset?" Norm decided to ask.

"About what?" Still smiling.

"About yesterday. With Wanda and Timmy."

The smile faltered. Cosmo stopped walking. He looked down at his feet.

"Cosmo?"

Cosmo blinked and looked up at Norm. "Huh? What were we talking about?"

_So… He _is_ trying to bottle it up…_ Norm thought sadly. Wait. Why was _he_ sad? He had nothing to feel bad for. Norm facepalmed. _This is ridiculous! Why should I care? It's not my problem._ Norm was selfish, he'd admit that in a heartbeat. So, why did he feel for Cosmo?

Norm had kept walking and now he stopped, noticing Cosmo wasn't beside him anymore. He turned around and saw Cosmo sitting at the shore, staring at a crab. Norm smiled and walked back over to him. "Interesting crab?" He asked, sitting next to Cosmo.

The fairy smiled at Norm. "He has a family." He pointed to the little crabs following the big one.

Norm noticed how sad Cosmo looked. He doubted that Cosmo even realized it. The fairy seemed to be on the verge of tears. Norm watched as Cosmo put his head in his hands and cried.

_Poor kid…_ Norm thought, patting Cosmo on the back. "Come on, dude… It's okay…" He wasn't used to comforting anyone like this. It was… weird… But, it was a good weird… It felt nice, consoling someone.

Cosmo turned and threw his arms around Norm and cried even harder. This continued for a good five minutes before Cosmo's breathing evened out. "Norm? Am I a bad person?" He asked suddenly, clinging to Norm's shirt.

Norm was startled by the question. Why would Cosmo ask something like that? He may have done stupid things fairly often, and those things might have been bad for someone, but they weren't intentionally bad. No. If anyone was the bad guy here, it was Norm. He should have talked Cosmo into letting him go, and then Wanda and Timmy wouldn't have gotten mad at the poor fairy. Norm shook his head. If they found out he freed Norm, Cosmo would have been in even more trouble.

"No… You're not a bad person, Cosmo. You're a really nice, albeit stupid, guy. You have done nothing wrong. I think Turner and Wanda overreacted." Norm smiled at Cosmo, who returned the smile sadly.

"Thanks Norm!" Cosmo grinned widely, erasing all his sadness and hugging Norm.


End file.
